Ombailamos

The L.A. Stories!

Note: this post is going to be "featured" i.e. pinned to the top of my blog, because I've gotten some new traffic recently and I would like to call attention to my writing.  To read new posts, continue down the page.

ABOUT MY BOOKS AND STORIES

The L.A. Stories are novella-length modern romances for fans of musical theater, movies, and dancing, as well as of TV shows like 'Fame,' 'Glee,' 'Smash,' and 'Star.' Below are links and basic information for the first eighteen novellas (there are 24 available at Amazon.com as of May 2019).

Adult situations, language, and themes. Rights available!  Find out more at the dedicated website: TheLAStories.com.

• Getting Off: (2012) two female friends compare notes on dating and make an unexpected discovery.  A F/F love story. get "Getting Off"
• All the Bars on Sunset: (2012) a lounge lizard falls hard for a salsa dancer  get "All the Bars on Sunset"
• Chrome: (2012) a Japanese-American designer takes a semi-pro dancer by surprise  get "Chrome"
• The Continental: (2012) a young ballroom instructor meets the man of her dreams.  There's only one problem: he lives on the other side of the planet  get "The Continental"
• Beat: (2013) a retired fighter and a younger draftsman walk into a bar in West Hollywood ... a M/M love story  get "Beat"
• Chai at Midnight: (2013) an Indian expat and an African-American club owner decide love is worth some changes  get "Chai at Midnight"
• Speed Date: (2013) an up-and-coming DJ is ready to settle down, and finds his match where he least expects to  get "Speed Date"
• Set Dressing: (2014) a designer with trust issues and a set decorator with a history find common ground  get "Set Dressing"
• Mating Dance: (2014) how much older is too much? a ballroom pro and a younger actor figure it out  get "Mating Dance"
• Benchwork: (2015) an L.A. doctor's plan to deal with her biological clock takes off on a tangent when she meets a widowed jeweler  get "Benchwork"
• Vintage: (2016) a young attorney and an independent wine consultant decide to take a second chance on love  get "Vintage"
• The Whole Truth: (2018) a friendly work relationship between two attorneys evolves rapidly after a tango get "The Whole Truth"
• Toward Love: (2018) two actors assigned a showmance fall headlong into real love get "Toward Love"
• Exposure: (2018) a Broadway veteran and a TV actor play the long game, and play it for keeps. A M/M love story. get "Exposure"
• Green Man Walking: (2018) an industry pro and a dancer find that working on a project together takes them from "maybe" to "forever". get "Green Man Walking"
• A Random Sequence: (2018) two lottery winners, a wildfire, and dancing on the beach: what could be more L.A.? get "A Random Sequence"
• Drawn Out: (2018) an animation artist and a filmmaker meet at a festival and knock each other for a loop. How do they move forward when the whole world seems to be watching?  get "Drawn Out"
• Stripped: (2018) a TV actress and a dancer/barista negotiate several significant life changes in West Hollywood, with a little help from their friends. A F/F love story. get "Stripped"  

THE NOVELS

The Exiles was my first-completed book.  It is a long historical romance, set during the French Revolution, with some of the action taking place in France and the rest in England. get "The Exiles"

Discovered is a follow-up, not precisely a sequel, to The Exiles.  The action here is all in England and features an inter-class relationship.  I'm particularly proud of this one. get "Discovered"

Home Sweet Home is a contemporary romance set in the 1980s. get "Home Sweet Home"

Million Dollar Death is a mystery with two points-of-view: one, the director of a stage play; the other, the police officer investigating the death of one of her cast members.  Set in the modern day in Los Angeles, this novel is related to the L.A. Stories.  get "Million Dollar Death"

Since 2018, I have published three more novels set in the L.A Stories universe: Face the Music, Today, Tomorrow and Forever, and The Ghost of Carlos Gardel.

 

THE OTHER STUFF

"What Went Down" is a stage play, basis for the production described in Million Dollar Death.  

and finally ...

"Other Voices: Social Commentary in the Novels of Frances Burney" was my master's thesis.  It looks at the ways this very successful, highly-placed Englishwoman managed to say a lot of things that most women in her position wouldn't have dared to. Available for Kindle e-readers and in paperback from Amazon.

my author page

reading list: 2019 through May

I read 85 books in 2018, which is waaaayy low for me (average is around 150) but in view of the amount of writing I did, unsurprising.

The same thing is happening this year. I have read so little of other peoples' work that I can fit five months in a single post without even squeezing. * denotes a new-to-me book.

January 2019

1. A Princess in Theory* by Alyssa Cole. I like this author a lot. This particular contemporary romance suffered from too much conflict. Like, ALL the conflict.

1.5 Too Clever By Half* by Nancy Yeager. A novella, meaning something quite short, and I still almost stopped reading it about ten times. Way too much 'setting up a series' and not enough 'why should I care.'

February 2019

2. Leverage in Death* by J.D. Robb. A very satisfying thriller.

3. Unmasked* by Andrew Lloyd Webber. Turned me into a superfan, basically. Hugely entertaining and educational.

March 2019

4. Cici and the Curator* by S.J. Wynde. A romp of a space fantasy.

5. Pulse* by Felix Francis. I read all of his collaborations with his father but this one probably shut me down for continuing his solo efforts. Not at all a bad writer, simply not my taste.

6. Proof by Dick Francis. Kindle sale. Apparently Amazon knew I needed some of the real thing. Love this book.

April 2019

7. Justice Hall, by Laurie R. King. Another Kindle sale resulting in more re-reading of a guaranteed good book.

8. Any Old Diamonds* by KJ Charles. AUUUGGH SO GOOD!! Sexy M/M historical romance built around a jewel heist. Painful, profound love story.

9. What The Parrot Saw* by Darlene Marshall. A ripping yarn involving a lady pirate in the Caribbean. Falls apart a bit at the end when the heroine goes into 'I can't ruin your life by marrying you' mode, which is very out of character given that she is loudly Doing What She Wants throughout up to that point (and earlier in the story [redacted] him with a [redacted]).

10. Someone to Trust* by Mary Balogh. Featuring another of her poisonous blondes. A lovely romance actually, a few too many series characters cluttering the corners.

11. Money in the Morgue* by Ngaio Marsh and Stella Duffy. A 'new' Alleyn mystery set in wartime (WWII) New Zealand. Good tone, plot, pacing, and language. Alleyn characterization inconsistent. Not a waste of time but not up to the original.

12. Miss Buncle's Book* by D.E. Stevenson. OMG I loved this. Thoroughly entertaining story of a small-town lady of little means who writes a book about her fellow villagers, which becomes a bestseller, and genteel mayhem ensues.

May 2019

13. Straight, by Dick Francis. Another sale, another favorite to re-read.

14. The Austen Playbook* by Lucy Parker. Very satisfying showbiz romance with two wholly lovable protagonists and a ton of complications.

15. Uncivil Defense* by M. Ruth Myers. Wartime mystery starring Maggie Sullivan, P.I. Really enjoy this series. Great central character, good plots, terrific period detail and a fun cast of supporting characters.

16. Wanted, a Gentleman* by KJ Charles. Quick-reading and very sexy M/M love story involving two men in pursuit of an eloping young lady and her dastardly swain.

16.5 Unfit to Print* by KJ Charles. A sexy M/M romance novella packed full of plot - this could easily have been a full-length novel - boiling down to the reunion of two school friends, solution of a murder, and joint custody of a fiendish cat.

17. The October Man* by Ben Aaronovitch. New novella in the Rivers of London paranormal mystery series, this one set in Germany with a new protagonist! Very much enjoyed.

18. Crooked House* by Agatha Christie. Very English mystery in which a child is the killer.

19. Band Sinister* by KJ Charles. Another sexy M/M historical romance. I loved this one so much I immediately re-read it.

20. The Tempest* by W. Shakespeare. These plays are not the length of a book but I am giving myself Full Book Credit for reading each one. The language, OMG.

 

reading list: catching up

Once upon a time, I posted a monthly reading list. Then I fell into the Writing Pool (May 2018) and since then I have been writing my own stuff at such a furious pace that I've hardly been reading at all. This may simply be a phase. It may have been (I believe it was) precipitated by reaching a critical mass of personal stress that added up to CREATE YOUR OWN WORLD BECAUSE THE REAL ONE TRULY STINKS RIGHT NOW.

And thus, thirteen new, published novellas, and three more ready to publish; three new, published novels, and one more ready to publish, and another well over 50% complete. I am writing.

But I do still read from time to time, because I must occasionally refresh my brain. Here, then, is part of the list since last update. * denotes a new-to-me book.

October 2018:

70. Green For Danger* by Christianna Brand. Cracking good wartime mystery (pub. 1944) about death in a military hospital.

71. Checking Out* by Nick Spalding. Absolutely loved this contemporary novel about a guy with terminal cancer. So funny and sad and true.

72. And Then We Danced* by Henry Alford. Very entertaining and relatable nonfiction book about adventures in dancing. Made me envious because wow some of those were cool adventures.

72.5 The Lady Astronaut of Mars* by Mary Robinette Kowal. An elegiac short story.

73. Withering By Sea* by Judith Russell. A very cute Joan Aiken-esque YA adventure complete with singing cats.

74. Golden Age and Other Stories* by Naomi Novik. Short fiction in the Temeraire world, all inspired by fan art. Some great stuff. Novik can do comedy, romance, drama, action, and heartbreak - sometimes all in the same chapter.

75. Midshipman's Hope* by David Feintuch. Military SF, first of a long series, and this one was good but enough for me.

November 2018

76. City on the Edge of Forever* by Harlan Ellison. The original teleplay, plus some revisions, plus a lot of bitching about Gene Roddenberry (who I'd say deserved it).

77. Dark in Death* by J.D. Robb. A respectable series entry in which the murderer has fixated on a writer.

78. Once a Scoundrel* by Mary Jo Putney. A 'Rogues Redeemed' Regency romance, set in the Middle East, which was an interesting departure.

79. Grey Expectations* by Clea Simon. A very annoying book about an academic with a ghost cat and her (the academic's) idiotic shenanigans in connection with campus crime. I wished I had it in paperback so I could throw it across the room.

80. Dating You/Hating You* by Christina Lauren. A clever contemporary romance in which both protagonists are Hollywood talent agents.

81. Love Lies Bleeding* by Edmund Crispin. A smart, fast-paced postwar mystery set in and around a boys' school, in which two teenage girls are resourceful, clever and brave. I approve!

82. His Perfect Partner* by Priscilla Oliveras. A contemporary romance distinguished by having Latinx protagonists. The heroine is a dancer. Some very good family and career stuff, I wasn't quite feeling the romance.

83. The Passion of Carlos Gardel* by Lazaro Droznes. Short biographical sketches mixed with a selection of tango lyrics. Ironically, Gardel was the composer, not the lyricist. Still a good resource.

83.5 Mating the Huntress* by Talia Hibbert. A fated-mates paranormal romance novella that I liked quite a lot.

December 2018

84. Banker by Dick Francis. Kindle sale, couldn't resist, loved it all over again.

85. The Vacillations of Poppy Carew* by Mary Wesley. British chick lit that's fallen down a Pythonesque rabbit hole full of violent accidents, impulsive and idiotic people, and a singularly annoying and feckless heroine. I almost stopped reading countless times.

 

And that's 2018. At least there was a lot of new material here, and not re-reading. Stay tuned for a 2019 catching-up post.

a writing process

(originally published October 2013; updated June 9, 2019)

To the extent that I have thought about my "writing process," it has been due to the guilty realization that I need to do something useful with my Amazon author page. But then I read this:

http://daringnovelist.blogspot.com/2011/04/blogging-my-process-character-in.html

and realized, you know, it might be kind of helpful to actually think through what my process is.  Both for the author page, and so that I can plan more effectively.  As I so often do, I am choosing to think out loud so that my cherished readers can revel in (or wonder at) the workings of my mind.

What I know for sure: my process for nonfiction is different from my process for fiction; my process for a full-length novel is different from my process for a novella; and my process for a contemporary novel is very different from my process for a historical novel.

Mind you, this is not based on a whole giant shelf full of finished work.  But it is based on thirty years of serious writing.  I think it is fair to say that I have finished enough stuff to know what works for me.

Note: my process for the blog is completely useless because I have no process.  I just start typing.

Nonfiction: I wrote tons of papers in college and grad school, as most humanities students do.  My process for those was to read (in the time available) as much as I could get my hands on that related to the topic, take copious notes (I used the index card method), string everything together, flesh it out, clean it up, done.  When you have a couple of weeks to deliver something, deathless prose is not the object.

My nonfiction projects are progressing differently, in part because I don't need to produce a detailed bibliography, footnotes, etc with the two projects I have going.  They are both based primarily on life experience.  They are both, essentially, "how-to's." 

And because I personally feel that any kind of "how-to" needs to be delivered with concision, precision, and attention to the reader's boredom threshold, I am going to be a little more concerned with how they read. 

I did not have to worry about boring my graduate-school advisors.  They had to read what I gave them no matter how boring it was!

I don't have any particular urgency* about completing these; the one I started last year is on the back burner, though, because the one I started this year is, at the moment, more compelling.  Also, frankly, easier to produce: the other one needs photographs (erk).  I have a vague intention of finishing NF Project #2 by the end of 2013.  Given that setup, my process is simply to sit and write a little bit often enough to get the project done.  And "done" is entirely subjective. 

Because it is a how-to, based on life experience, how much I put in is entirely up to me.  I can choose to make it as comprehensive or as lightweight as I like.  Because I want it to be of value to the target market, however, my intention is to make it as complete as it needs to be to answer the most obvious questions and settle the most likely confusions for someone in that market. 

I would like any "revised editions" that are issued down the road to be revised due to rule changes, and not because I left something really essential out.

So a necessary part of approaching this, in an organized way, is establishing for myself what those most obvious questions and most likely confusions are.  Then I have to produce a short explanation of each situation.  And then I need to either locate or create a sample document for addressing the situation.

As to the novellas: in many respects, my process for these is like the blog.  I just start typing.  I generally have an idea of who at least one of my protagonists will be, and that each story will focus on a romance.  The format I am choosing to write in is very dialogue-driven.  That is intentional.  It's not because I don't like writing lots of description and backstory;  I love that stuff. 

Backstory? Let me tell you about backstory.  I have an entire genealogy for four of the main characters in my historical novels.  I am down with backstory.  But it doesn't belong in a 22,000-word novella. 

Anyway, once I have determined who the "second lead" will be, and what the primary conflict (if any; I don't see that this is always strictly necessary) or obstacle (if any) will be, and what the milieu will be, I just go tearing off.  So far (twenty-four stories published and three more completed) I have not encountered much of a need to sit and think about what happens next.  The only notes I have taken have been after-the-fact, because all of the stories are somewhat interconnected and I have to keep that shit straight.

The first contemporary novel ('Home Sweet Home') was begun nearly twenty years ago; it changed significantly from my first conception of it to the finished product.  It didn't change through rewrites so much as from my own personal evolution; I had left the project at a certain point in the story, expecting it to go in one direction.  When I took it back up again, it went in a different direction. 

This is what writers mean when they say stuff like "the characters took over."  I was in a very different emotional place during completion than I was in during conception.  It shows in the work.  I had to do some fairly brutal editing to the early part of the thing to make it fit where the conclusion ended up.

I had minor research to do for that project; though "contemporary," it is set in the 1980s, and there is stuff I don't remember anymore.  Fortunately I have the Internet.

The historical novels (two complete, one at about 10%, one in the thinking-about-it stage) require tons, and tons, and tons of research.  This is all sooooo much easier now that I have the Internet.  My historical timelines have to be accurate, my geography has to be accurate, my fashions and foods and buildings and modes of travel have to be accurate.  The stories themselves are the easy part, and the characters just come out of the frickin' woodwork.

I have discarded most of my notes for everything leading up to Historical Novels #1 and #2.  My early drafts, etc: into the shredder.  I had to write up a timeline and a concordance, because the two books cross-reference events and people in some places, and things needed to match up.  I had another genealogy to create because of a plot point that invented itself about 1/3 of the way into #2.

I am trying my hardest NOT to do any work (research or jotting down a scene or anything STAY IN YOUR BOXES PEOPLE) for historical novel #4 because doing more than taking a note on where those characters are used earlier is going to take me out of #3 too much.  I can write another contemporary urban novella, or work on the nonfiction thing, without disrupting the cooking process for HN#3, but trying to actually compose another historical novel simultaneously would be, I think, a frustrating disaster.

 

Common to all: I edit as I go.  My reading speed is even more unearthly than my typing speed.  Each novella was read through every day I was writing. For me, it helps with pacing, and to see if another scene is needed or if a scene should be moved or whatever.

Long story short: My process, to the extent that you can call it that, is ultimately simply a matter of letting the writing be easy.  For a lot of years, it wasn't easy; I didn't touch it.  Right now, it's easy - so I'm doing as much as I can.

 

*both back-burnered till further notice

For more about my publications, visit https://www.thelastories.com

a decade

A long time ago - ten years, to be precise - I started writing this here blog.  A decade ago.

So much has changed since then.  Much too much to summarize.  I see from the stats report that people do check in at this blog from time to time, even though it has been inactive for five months.  Thank you for your interest (and your patience).

I thought for a while that I would let this blog expire, because I have a new one now.  The new one is devoted to the series I am writing and publishing as The L.A. Stories - that is the name of the new blog: www.thelastories.com - and that is where you will find updates about new publications. 

I expect I will keep my "pinned" post here (desperately needs to be updated) but the rest of the publication material has already been moved, and will be deleted here.

Ombailamos was originally conceived as a place for me to write about dancing and fitness.  Over the years the blog became very unfocused; the category of "home and garden" took over for a while.  There's quite a bit of random photography here.

Still not sure what form this blog will ultimately take.  However, I've decided to keep it alive for at least one more year, to give myself time to figure that out.

In the meantime, if you want to see what I've been up to since last summer, do check out The L.A. Stories.  Twenty-four novellas and four in-series novels are now available at Amazon, along with a few other things that are not connected to the series.

excavation

This is what it looks like when a sewer pipe has to be dug out because it's broken.  The pipe in this trench was terra-cotta and probably original to the house.  It was broken, and the verkakte grass was feasting, which two facts meant that I really couldn't do much of anything in the front yard.

I am very grateful to our landlords for doing this.  And glad, on behalf of the poor guy who did the digging, that the pipe was only about three feet down.  Yikes, what a day's work.

reading list: September 2018

It is another very short reading list.  Since finishing that novel draft, I've taken a bit of a hiatus, or rest period, from writing (have a read-through-edit to do very soon, and am still in progress with novella #18). 

So far in October, I've already read as many books as I got through in September.  And next weekend won't be much for writing either, so I may not have writing progress to report till near the end of the month.  And when, for whatever reason, I'm not writing ... I'm reading.

Anyway!  Herewith, September. * denotes a new-to-me book.

 

65. The Wild Child, by Mary Jo Putney. An ambitious Regency with so much plot, I was tired.

66. The Undomestic Goddess* by Sophie Kinsella. An entertaining story of a young lawyer's professional implosion, followed by reinvention.  I could have done with more of the romance.   I mean, if you're going to adopt a new life because you realize you're in love with a person who can't be integrated into your old life, that person needs to be a little more alive on the page.

67. Locked Rooms, by Laurie R. King.  Came up on sale and is a series favorite, so ... really very good.

68. A Conspiracy in Belgravia* by Sherry Thomas.  The other nouveau-Holmes fiction I read.  This series' Holmes does not engage me on the same level as King's Russell, but the novels are smart.

69. Hold Me Tight and Tango Me Home* by Maria Finn.  A well-written memoir about a plunge into Argentine tango following the breakup of a marriage.  Lots of dance detail, so of course now I want to learn tango even more than I already did (I know a few basics, and enough to be an intelligent viewer - which is to say, I can tell good technique from bad - but that's not enough).

P.O.P.

It happens to be my dad's birthday today.  HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDIO!

In honor of that event, here is a picture of a pigeon I call POP, which is short for "Pile O' Pennies," because that's what it looks like to me.  In this lighting, you don't really get the hint of iridescence that brushes some of the feathers.

Back when I worked in Beverly Hills, there was a pigeon that would strut up Beverly Drive that was a smooth copper color, almost like a cedar waxwing, but with that iridescent neck you see in the standard-issue gray birds.  He was beautiful (I know it was a he because of his behavior). 

This bird is beautiful in a different way; it is more like the sparrows who come to the yard.  You don't really notice the subtlety of the colors because the overall impression is "brown."

Anyway, there is a POP for my pop.  I love you, Dad.

a tale of two Lears

So Mr. P & I went to see the streamed National Theatre Live broadcast of Sir Ian McKellen's "King Lear," and I'm really glad we did because that is the way to see these plays, if you ask me.  Even with our theater's chronic tech problems, and even though we were in the theater for going on four hours.

Quick comparison:  Mission Impossible: Fallout: in the theater for two hours forty minutes, felt like eternity.  King Lear? Over in a flash.

I was not bored for a second.  I did not have trouble following the play, even though I've never read it.  The acting was, if not uniformly excellent, certainly very high quality and in some cases hard to imagine bettering.  I now have a crush on James Corrigan, who played the nefarious Edmund. McKellen was everything I'd hoped.

Seriously loved that Kent was played by a woman, Sinead Cusack, who was SUPERB.  Since Kent is arguably the hero of the piece, extra special love here.

The director staged the play in two long acts, which works for the modern theatre-goer, and the break in the text was in a logical and cliff-hangery place.

 

Then, coincidentally, Amazon just released a new Lear film starring a slew of fabulous actors including Anthony Hopkins (Lear), Emma Thompson (Goneril), and Jim Broadbent (Gloucester).  This was an abridged presentation, coming in at right around two hours total.  We watched it, and I definitely preferred the unabridged version.  A lot of plot threads just disappeared in the truncated text.

Hopkins' Lear was very different from McKellen's: meaner, more violent, with less pathos.  Less sympathetic, and without some sympathy for the old bastard it's difficult to conceive of the piece as an actual tragedy.  The Cordelia in the Amazon film was stronger, to my mind, and Emma Thompson has never been anything less than perfect.

The two versions were quite similar in their sort-of-modern settings.  Both had Cordelia marrying the Duke of France but then in military uniform, actively participating in the French sortie on English soil.  I have no idea if she has conventionally been played as a soldier.

 

So, one of the upcoming events promoted with this screening was a December NTL broadcast of 'Antony & Cleopatra,' with Ralph Fiennes and Sophie Okonedo.  I have already ordered tickets.

 

And since I have got my Shakespeare thing going, I think it is time to re-watch some of the filmed versions that live in the jukebox.  I have also, finally, downloaded a copy of the complete plays so that I can, belatedly, further my education in this regard.

reading list: August 2018

Seriously, the reading list is hardly worth posting at all.  What with NOVEL NUMBER 5 that I just finished writing the first draft of, I have not been reading much of Other People's Stuff.  This may be the shortest reading list I have ever posted here.

Anyway ... * denotes a new-to-me book.

 

61. Lord John and the Private Matter* by Diana Gabaldon.  An 18th-century mystery, rich in historical detail, but also a cracking good adventure.  Will almost certainly read others in this series.

62. If We Were Villains* by M.L. Rio.  A blisteringly good novel about death at a Shakespeare college, and its fallout for the six student survivors.  I would instantly read a sequel.  I usually delete things from my Kindle after reading (because having too long an index stresses me out) but have left this one on the device because I want to read it again very soon.  I was tearing through it at such a pace (wanting to find out what happened) that I know I failed to appreciate some of the gorgeous theatrical language.

63. Longshot, by Dick Francis.  It came up on sale, and since it is one of my favorites of his, had to have it.  An excellent palate-cleanser.  I had - somehow - forgotten that the hero is actually a writer.  As well as being, like all Francis' heroes, intelligent, courageous, and resourceful.

64. Irresistible, by Mary Balogh.  A workmanlike Regency with a rather fraught and overextended blackmail plot.  I always enjoy this author, but this particular plot was a little hard to take at this particular time.

 

What I have been doing this summer instead of reading, I guess, is going to movies.  Mr. P and I, or my BFF, or the three of us have been to see

• Ocean's 8;
• Set It Up (on Netflix);
• Mamma Mia 2;
• Ant Man & Wasp;
• MI: Fallout;
• The Spy Who Dumped Me;
• Crazy Rich Asians;
• Happytime Murders; and
• Juliet, Naked.

Maybe even something else that I've forgotten because of my writer's spongiform encephalopathy.  Plus we watched "Galaxy Quest" at home with other friends who had not ever seen it, which was a situation direly in need of correction.  All were satisfactory entertainments and some were very much better than that.

Because of the M.L. Rio book, I am seriously considering going to see "King Lear" with Ian McKellen.  That will probably be me on my own, if at all; I've never seen the play nor read it, and  having seen his Richard III, I do believe I will want to give this my undivided attention.

alien visitors

So one day recently, after filling the feeders and going back inside for my coffee + yoga, I had a little time and sat down to look out the window at the bird show, and ...

insert Scooby noise here

what?!

the?!

cluck?!

Yes, folks, those are real, live, actual, legit CHICKENS which somehow made their way to my disastrous - but apparently appealing! - yard.

I have no idea where they came from.

Haven't seen them since, but they sure were good for a laugh.