One of the practices I try to maintain is a habit of leaving things a little better than I found them. At the very least, I try not to make things worse. Kind of a version of the Hippocratic oath: first, do no harm.
It's a very simple practice, but one that requires a level of mindfulness that many struggle with. It is easy to, for example, go into the office breakroom and fix a cup of coffee and go back to one's desk. It is just a hair less easy to go in, notice the counter is mucky from a previous user, and clean it up before returning to the desk. But the small bit of housekeeping not only makes the breakroom nicer for you to use; it makes it nicer for everyone else who follows. It's a gift to yourself and to those who share your space.
Likewise at home: it only takes a moment to rinse a cup or dish and put it in the dishwasher, rather than leaving it on the counter. When you live with other people, generally there's a sort of contract - which may be unspoken, although things do run more smoothly when these negotiations are verbalized - about who will do what. However, in the case of a domestic partnership, it is never a bad idea to do just that little bit more, to care just that little bit more.
I think it's a mistake to have quid pro quo relationships: "I do this, so you must do that." This tends to set up a constant renegotiation in which one person, at any given time, feels they are being taken advantage of. A much better approach for guaranteeing peace and comfort in the home is to sit down and talk about what each person values in their home life. If this were to be done - and repeatedly, because people do change over time - I believe there would be fewer relationships in which one person retreats to a room and spends all his/her leisure time on the computer or watching TV, while the other person stews over how put-upon they are. Nagging is never peaceful or comforting!
Making things better shouldn't be a habit if you resent it, obviously. If you feel "I am always cleaning up after people," and that makes you angry, then some earnest discussions are in order. But if, in general, the people with whom you associate are well-meaning and constructive, doing a little extra to leave things better than you found them will not cost you much and will give you a little more peace and comfort.
This applies in the larger world as well. There are many people who are, apparently, content to create a slum environment no matter where they live. These are the people who dump their trash in the alley instead of in the bin, who throw cigarette butts and trash out their car windows, who abandon their animals, who let cars rust in their yards, who vandalize property, who back into other people's cars, who play their music so loud the entire block can hear it. Many of these acts are, when you think about, acts of aggression against a civil society. The person who thinks "rules don't apply to me" is, by definition, anti-social.
A civil society is the large-scale expression of a peaceful and comfortable home. Clean streets, beaches, and bike paths are a function in some places of strict public enforcement. Here in the good old U.S. of A. there are laws against littering, against excessively loud music, against most anti-social behavior; but our level of enforcement is weak. Therefore, it falls upon those of us who value a civil society to pull a little more weight.
There are very simple ways to make the world a better place. When you go to the beach or a hiking trail, take a couple of plastic grocery bags folded up in your pocket, and pick up trash as you head back to your vehicle. When you leave your table at a coffee shop, dispose of your trash and wipe the crumbs off the table. If someone else has left trash, it won't kill you to throw that away as well.
Most people respond to filth and disorder by becoming more anti-social, not less. So in a way, cleaning up after someone can be your way of preventing the further degeneration of our society. We can't all change the world, but we CAN all improve it.
