Ombailamos

I'm not talking to you

a little (too much) excitement

This morning I had started working on a project, and followed a tangent that ultimately had me on the floor in the living room happily fossicking through a drawer of beads, etc., when there was a terrific commotion from the kitchen.

It wasn't a loud commotion, but its components were galvanizing: fluttering, buzzing, chirping, a little thrashing, and that unique vocalization that my cat makes when her predatory instincts are activated; it's something between a growl and a "heh!".

Needless to say, I scrambled into the kitchen, where I found my minky black cat with a mouthful of hummingbird.  One of my regulars, apparently looking for me since the feeders needed topping up, had flown in through the open patio door and failed to correctly negotiate the turn when it saw, not imminent food, but imminent disaster.

I leaped upon the cat, pinned her to the floor, and pried her jaws open.  The bird, apparently not much hurt (I hope not) zoomed away outside, neatly clearing the door opening. 

Then I carefully collected the feathers left behind, because they are a bit magical; told Mr. P about the drama; and, after my heart rate returned to normal, went back to my project.

The cat informed me that I had ruined her day and that I wasn't to speak to her until spoken to.  (Anyone reading this who has cats will understand.)  She seems to have forgiven me now, and outside the hummingbird action appears normal.

I have no idea which of my regular visitors it was.  I have one unmistakeable Anna's male, and at least four others who are more or less indistinguishable - either females, or immature males.  I am pretty certain it wasn't the Anna's male, since he was the first to visit after the Incident, and I can't imagine the one that came in was in a big hurry to come back.

And the patio door is now a little less obviously open.

the evidence

a few days away

We've just returned from a week in Sedona, Arizona, which (unlike pretty much all the other times I've been in AZ) was fun, beautiful, and full of enticements to come back.

I'd never been in the northern part of the state.  Mr. P had been to Grand Canyon and, briefly, in Sedona; but for both of us, this trip provided new adventures.  The weather was just about perfect, with nights in the 30s and clear skies.  We both suffered a little from the extremely dry air.  You know it's dry when Los Angeles seems humid by comparison!

One thing I wasn't expecting was the variety of colors.  Sedona is in an area with year-round water, and consequently there are sizable deciduous trees including cottonwoods and walnuts, which provided some gorgeous views through the canyons.  When we drove up to Grand Canyon, we passed through a forest of ponderosa pines interspersed with birch groves.  There was just a dusting of snow on the ground, and the black and white trunks of the birches were surprisingly ... vivid, in a monochromatic way.

I'm a person who likes to be around water, so Oak Creek and Verde River were unexpected gifts.  It was really great to be out in such empty country, too.  I love Los Angeles, but getting away from its endless cement and crush of people sometimes helps.  We didn't see every possible critter, but Mr. P spotted a javelina, I saw a herd of pronghorn, a couple of grey foxes crossed our path, and we had a lengthy conversation with a raven up at the South Rim.

There's a lot more I want to see of Arizona, but for now I'm just looking forward to doing something constructive with the hundreds of photos we took.  And of course, catching up with my entries here.

a daredevil on the Templeton Trail

"Crucial Confrontations"

I am a bit voracious as a reader.  If I'm eating alone, I want something to read.  On jury duty ... waiting in an office ... during a ballgame ... watching TV ... I'm reading.  It's a little compulsive; I am the person who will read the back of the cereal box if there's nothing else around.  This may be one reason that food labels do not present much of a challenge (more on those later).

So when I found a book lying in the breakroom, I naturally picked it up to read during lunch.  Didn't really expect to dig into it in any depth, but thought it might serve in a pinch.  Well, I really did dig into it and found it a very thoughtful and thorough approach to its subject, which is problem-solving.  The book is "Crucial Confrontations," by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler, and it is based on years of research on managing conflict.  It's a different approach than the one in "Ballroom Dancing is Not for Sissies," which I reviewed earlier this year, and because it is less context-specific, may be of greater interest to non-dancers.

Because this is outside the subject matter I generally choose, I can't compare this particular book to a lot of others in its category.  All I can say is, if you have ever had a problem dealing with someone in your workplace or your private life, a problem specifically relating to broken promises, bad behavior patterns, insubordination, incompetence, lack of trust, or disappointed expectations, this is a book that lays out a plan for managing the situations so that everyone comes out ahead.  I wish I had read it ten years ago.

I found a lot of value in this book, but the bit that fits most neatly with what I do here at Ombailamos is in an appendix and deals with praise.  Specifically, it deals with the tendency to give praise only for big successes, while small everyday achievements go unnoticed.

This speaks to another part of the yoga practice, which is gratitude.  A practice of thankfulness requires first, that we notice and second, that we think about the people, things, and events that are part of our lives, which means it is also part of the mindfulness practice.  You can't be thankful for something you don't notice.

Every day I try to recognize and be thankful for five things, people, or events.  This is super easy because most days, even if nothing else to appreciate had crossed my path (which is never the case), I would still have Mr. P, the two cats, and our apartment to be thankful for, which only leaves me one other thing to think of and appreciate.  Most days, I make the five without having to reference my household riches at all.

I might, for example, wake up feeling particularly vigorous and powerful; that's something to be thankful for.  I might have something delicious to look forward to for dinner.  I might be seeing an old friend after a long hiatus.  I might have just caught a beautiful view over the city to the ocean.  I might have been stopped in traffic right in front of some of the spectacular architecture of Los Angeles.  I might really like my new sweater, and how good one of my necklaces looks with it.  I might have gotten a note from a co-worker who's just taken the initiative to improve our recordkeeping.

Getting back to the book, the authors refer to Donald Petersen, former chairman of Ford Motor Company, who apparently was known for his practice of daily sitting down to write personal notes to people in the company he had, as they say, caught doing something right.  Mr. Petersen is quoted as saying, "The most important ten minutes of your day are those you spend doing something to boost the people you work with."

Thankfulness should be expressed, I believe, indiscriminately.  Any time you feel that rush of gratitude, express it.  If it is due to something private, express it to yourself; if it is due to something someone else has done, tell them so.  If the latte has a beautiful swirl, a compliment and thanks to the barista will make you both feel good.  If the building security guy holds the door for you, a thank-you and a smile could make his day.  If a coworker has just saved you some time, a thank-you email with a copy to her supervisor could not only go into her "keep" file, to take out and look at on the days that don't go so well, but could help her career.

Thankfulness, like mindfulness, costs nothing and takes next to no time.  It opens the door to better health and relationships, and is a cost-free investment in a better, happier life.

the semifinal roster

Owing to the rare presence of an out-of-town friend, I have not even watched the DWTS results show yet; got my news from Television Without Pity.  (Frankly, the results shows are best watched from the DVR anyway.)  And well, I was off by one; instead of Mark Dacascos, we have Joanna Krupa.  Not to be a hater, but the quality of her movement is not that good.  She is awfully pretty, though, and seems like a cool chick, and I did love that "futuristic" paso doble, so we'll gloss over it.

Though I think this semifinal is an open race, on the basis of actual dancing I would be astonished to see Kelly in the final.  Cute as she is, she has been less consistent than any of the others left at this stage - but she clearly has a ton o' voters behind her.

Dmitry and Mya finally got some love from Len this week, and I had to laugh at the way their rehearsal footage zeroed in on them discussing going for the "wow factor," before turning out two textbook, strictly-ballroom performances.  Not that there wasn't some "wow," especially in the samba.  (Is it wrong that I kind of loved the mustache and sideburns?)  The quickstep was certainly the best we've seen this season.   For all Len's yapping about technique, Mya's top line, posture, and position in hold have always been good.  Her footwork has sometimes been a little sketchy in the ballroom dances.  But I'd have to look pretty closely, I think, to come up with legitimate technique quibbles about the latin dances she's done - and on repeat viewing, the lambada may have been my favorite dance of hers so far.  There was real rapport between the partners that week, which has been the question mark in other routines of theirs.

Donny & Kym were a sure thing for me, based on the overall quality of his dancing and his ginormous fan base.  His posture *is* getting better, but I would have liked to see his head further back in that Viennese waltz; when the head comes forward over the chest, it really collapses the top line, no matter how well poised the shoulders and arms are.  (To see what I mean, flip between Mya's quickstep and Donny's waltz, and look at how Dmitry carries his head.)  And the Adam Ant paso was ... so wrong.  That costume did nothing for Donny.  Stretch velvet pants next time, buddy; shiny satin does Nobody any favors.  The fan/smoke machine cracked me up, though.

I rarely have strong opinions about who "should" win; it's one of those things, I don't vote so I have no right to gripe.  Based on dance quality, I'd choose Mya; but no matter what happens, this week's performances were solidly entertaining and I am confident we will see more of that standard next week.

back to the slow cooker: Italian-style beef pot roast

I was sufficiently happy with last week's curried pig (and its staying power throughout the week) that I did another, very different pot roast this week - an Italian-style beef roast.

2.5 lb chuck shoulder roast (about 4 inches thick). I trimmed off only one chunk of suet from a corner, leaving the rest of the fat as trimmed by the store. (If you find a roast bound with string, please remove string before cooking this way.)

2 of those small cans of tomato paste, with Italian seasoning. I used Ralph's brand, which did not have HFCS in it unlike the "big" brand next to it on the shelf.

Generously dust with granulated garlic, parsley, and oregano on both sides of meat. Place in cooker and slather exposed sides with tomato paste (use it all for super tomato flavor). Add one large onion, cut in sixths or eights; a tablespoon of dried shallots; and a half-dozen crushed cloves of garlic.

Heat through on high for a half hour, turn down to low and go to work. This one was in on LOW from 7:45 a.m. to right around 5 p.m. and was cooked through, fell apart nicely when turned, and had created an incredibly rich sauce. I added a splash of Nero d'Avola and reheated for fifteen minutes, because I think a little red wine is required in tomato sauces! Tonight we're having the leftovers with pasta.

carelessness

All the good intentions in the world can prove ineffective if we don't pay attention to what we're doing.

I see, every day, the inattentive driver, worker, parent, or client whose carelessness costs them time, money, goodwill, or good health.  To me, it's incredible that people text or hold their phones while driving, and yet - even though it is illegal - I see it happening often.  I see co-workers who don't read through a document before delivering it, and cost themselves the goodwill of their supervisors; or who don't clean up after themselves in the kitchen, and cost themselves the goodwill of their office mates.  I see parents handing a restless child a toy to distract them instead of spending a few minutes interacting with the child.  I see clients who spend time at sports or in the gym who ignore their nutrition, or who focus on strength-building at the expense of flexibility and stability.

Mindfulness is part of my yoga practice, and is one of the first principles of yoga.  It is also the basis of cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), which requires clients to step outside their own heads and look objectively at their actions, then to try to identify their motivation for the action, consider the consequences, and theorize about alternatives. 

Most people have a sufficiently fast processing speed that they can do a CBT analysis in seconds.  For people with clutter, spending, or food issues CBT is often successful in quickly and economically identifying specific triggers for problem behaviors, and building a library of new behaviors.  Outside of formal therapy, simple mindfulness may be all that is needed for many people to begin to control habits of inattention that may be generating damage or distress in a person's life or environment.

Mindfulness, like most health practices, does not require a big investment of time and requires no money at all.  Carelessness, on the other hand, almost always results in more time and money spent.  What's more, carelessness can have serious consequences over time, whether in public safety, employability, relationships, or health.  Carelessness results in unsafe driving, an ill-maintained home, poor health, damaged finances, lack of trust, and a declining environment (micro and macro).

Perhaps one way to examine mindfulness in the context of health is to apply the "golden rule" not just to those around us (do unto others as you would have them do unto you) but to ourselves (do unto myself as I would have others do unto me).  For example, look at what you are about to give yourself for a meal and think, Would I want someone to serve me this?  Going into the gym, think, Would I pay a trainer to tell me to walk on the treadmill for an hour? Or would I want a balanced workout?

Most habits only become problems when we cease to think about what we are doing.  As Ram Dass famously wrote, "Be Here Now."  Give yourself the gift of mindfulness and watch not only your effectiveness expand, but your appreciation.

the weekend

We have some fun shows to see this weekend: "Andalucia," a flamenco show, at the Morgan Wixson theatre in West L.A./Santa Monica, on Sunday; and tomorrow, "Night of the Living Dance 2," by Goddess-a-Go-Go, at the Whitefire theatre in Sherman Oaks. 

Our friend Kelly Richardson is going to be rocking in the flamenco show, and we're just big fans of Goddess.  I'm sooooo happy to be re-employed and able to buy tickets to support all these wonderful dancers!

Our most recent dance adventure, of course, was the USA Dance Los Angeles showcase on Oct 17.  Ongoing social dance events abound in our fair city, and the USA Dance calendar is a great way to find them (see link at right).  The one thing we haven't found is a New Year's Eve party to go to.

When Mr. P and I first got together, a company called Varieties International hosted a formal dinner dance at New Year's, and one of those was actually our first big 'date' (we like to set the bar high).  Oddly enough, even with the proliferation of dance studios and the much more positive public perception of ballroom dancing in recent years, there have not been many great holiday parties to choose from.  Not sure why this is.

There is, at least, some upcoming action on the competition/dance camp front.   If you love "Dancing With the Stars," you would probably enjoy being a spectator at a real ballroom competition - although be prepared, the judges don't tell you why couples are placed as they are!  It's a terrific way to watch and learn, though.  Combine with dinner for a fun, and only slightly indulgent, evening out.

Going on RIGHT NOW and through the 8th we have the "Hollywood DanceSport Championships," (www.hollywooddancesport.com) organized by (among others) Mary Murphy of "So You Think You Can Dance."  This one is happening at the Warner Center Marriott in Woodland Hills.

Then, the California Star Ball (www.californiastarball.com) returns to the LAX Radisson over Thanksgiving weekend.  This is a big one, with some top professional dancers over several nights.

After Christmas, the Holiday Ball (www.holidayball.com) will move in to the Warner Center Mariott for a dance camp and competition Dec 27-30.  This one is organized in part by champion dancer Nadia Eftedal of the Rhythm Room.  I'm told the Holiday Ball will feature some jack & jill competitions, which are a lot of fun - individual dancers enter, and are randomly paired with others.  No choreography required, just lead & follow.

I'm looking into the collegiate dancesport calendar and will add information as I get it.  Meanwhile, if anyone out there finds a can't-miss New Year's Eve dance, drop me a note in the Comments!